It was around two years ago, when I went to ToyCon '06 together with friends and first saw my friend, Lily, dress up as an Alchemist from Ragnarok Online. I've been inspired by her less than 5 second catwalk, and told myself I'd cosplay someday, too. I won't enumerate the hindrances - most of them personal reasons - that caused this much anticipated moment to get delayed. The most challenging part, for me, is to be confident enough to wear somebody's outfit and wear his or her (or its) shoes for a day. I'd like to skip euphemisms and emphasize one of the biggest fear factors why I'm reluctant to dress-up: I'm fat.
But scratch that. This year, I've finally mustered up enough courage to cosplay. And while cosplay plans have been added to my shopping list, an apparatus of insecurity had found its way into my shopping bag - a waist trimmer. I've had it on recently for three hours, and I'm feeling light-headed already. I'm getting suffocated. That, or I'm just sleepy.
I should not rely on L-Carnitine or waist trimmers. This, I believe is a mere band-aid solution to my insecurity. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel insecure with my body. It's just that society dictates I should be slimmer and prettier in order to be "qualified" to cosplay. I feel obligated to please them people. Yeah, I guess I should really trim down, after all, I've been cheating my diet (which went well up until the time I started goofing off).
The corset? It's a lie. I'll always be too fat for other people.
On second thought... I'll still wear the waist trimmer.
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