What is this wall doing here?

Edited version

You know that feeling when, even when you're with someone, you feel so detached. Like the person next to you, whom you say 'I love you' to, after all this time, had always been a stranger.

You watch the chatbox get filled with emoticon hugs and kisses, none of them able to pass through the pixels of your screen. Empty nothings.

You know that feeling when you start to doubt what you feel, and at the same time start doubting what the other person feels. You question the things that you see, the things that you feel, as if your senses cannot be trusted. Why do people make up their minds with only little trust?

Ha. Trust. Could love alone ever be enough to maintain a small amount of trust? What is love when you do not have faith, when you are unsure of your feelings and thoughts?

You discover that you have been unhinged. Like souls that were once entwined, but yet, you doubt that you had ever been. The relationship had always been loose. You feel so distant, lying beneath an impenetrable invisible wall between you and the other person. And you ask yourself, what is this wall doing here?

It is the only thing keeping you insane, yet it is also the only thing that gives you reason. If you can only be blinded enough by love, you won't be able to see any barriers. But I know what you are afraid of. It's not about the barrier that you see. It's about the barrier that the other person sees. The wall the other person has.

The entirety of it is all you. You're the only one thinking that the other person had barricaded you out. What's this wall doing here, you asked? Why does it make you feel like the other person is so distant? The truth is, there is no wall. There is only you and your uncertainties. You and your demons.

"What is this wall doing here?" You asked.
And the demon answered, "You made me put it there."