I am Scared

I was walking down the tunnel, gazing at the thick glass walls. For a minute though, I thought that the walls might suddenly break and water would flood the whole tunnel. It was early morning, the airconditioning in the room smelled clean, with just a hint of seawater smell. Not stinky, it just smells.. like water on the beach in the morning. I could almost feel the mist on my face as I head further down the tunnel.
There was a small amount of light coming in from above.. Enough to emphasize the dim features of the coral reef tank. All sorts of algae, corals, rocks.. I took in a deep breath. It was like walking in the ocean floor.
I found my first school of fish. A couple of guppies and some clownfishes gaily moving about. I went nearer to one side of the dome tunnel and strained my eyes to see a manta ray swim past above me. It was such a beauty.
Moving on I found some angel fish, all in different bright colors. They made me smile. I tapped the surface of the wall slightly. Realizing that the glass was too thick for the fishes to hear my tapping, I waved my hand in the surface of the glass. The startled fishes moved to and fro. I let out a childish giggle.
It was then, a shark on the other side caught my eye. I walked cautiously towards it. I have this stigma from watching science fiction movies about sharks eating people. Suddenly I can hear the glass breaking. Nope. Just overstretching my imagination..
Then as I moved closer, it actually seemed to pranced. I felt like it was looking at me. Looking closely, the “shark” was a dolphin. I tried to suppress a laugh. Sometimes we don’t see the real thing the first time we look at it.

There is no other word to describe that moment. I was mesmerized as if I instantly fell for the fish. (Wait. Dolphins are considered mammals and not fish right?) It seemed to squeal, as if talking to me. And, when I reached out my hand, it nuzzled the glass wall separating us.. as if it was making contact. I moved nearer the fish.. it actually looked at me. We stared eye to eye for quite a while before it swam away.
I stood, still mesmerized. I watched the dolphin as it put off a show for me. It was indeed a very graceful animal. Then, it came back. I walked a bit and it followed me. Somehow we had a connection. Somehow it can reach to me, and I reach to it.
I was in love. But I felt something, a weird sense of sadness.. of longing.. of want. It tugged at my chest.. it was genuine pain. Pain of the thought that there is, and will always be, a thick glass wall separating me and my love. Hurt by the possibility that if I walk further, it may not follow anymore. Or worse, it would leave and swim away.
The dolphin held its place as if waiting for me to move. It was a really strange experience. As if it’s waiting for me, it again, moved nearer the glass wall. Again, it let out a voiceless cry. I can barely hear the sound because of the walls. But looking at it, keeping eye contact. I assumed that it was assuring me of its presence.
I placed my hands against the wall, feeling the cold glass, sniffing the air. I want to remember this moment. I know the end of the tunnel has come near, and my dolphin and I have to part.
I felt tears welling up my eyes. The pain of letting something go creeps into my heart. My fish seemed to understand. For a moment I thought it looked sad too.
Later, when I walked above the aquarium, my fish greeted me. I don’t know whether it was saying goodbye or hello. But I know that it greeted me. Aw. i have to stop thinking that it is MY fish. It’s not mine. But, somehow I felt like the dolphin was okay with me calling him mine.

But we can’t be together.

What an Allegory.