What it was for me three years ago was probably admiration. I had known him before I met him, we had talked online. Out of a friendly gesture we went out, the first of many. I enjoyed the company of this really humorous guy who got me smitten everytime he would smile. Not that I ever really found him funny, and his smile wasn't perfect - but I found myself liking him more.
The attraction was reciprocated, and one starry night, as fireworks lit up the sky, we confessed our feelings to one another. It was the start of a wonderful relationship. If compared to a ship I wouldn't say the seas have been smooth, but it has never been treacherous. I was the perfect captain, and he the perfect first mate. Yo-ho-ho we be pirates of love. Yaaarrr baby.
As I look back this year, it is very impossible not to see him as an appendage of everything that has happened to me. To say that he was always there for me would be a crime, he had his shortcomings. But when the going gets tough he'll always be there to break my fall. I don't know about you, or how you romanticize love, but I could count many reasons why I consider him my price charming, my knight in shining armor. For being there to support me on every school project that was too big to handle, for being there to assist me on every math exam beyond my limit, for everyday calls that bridges the nearly thirty kilometer gap between the two of us. Most of these things, they are taken for granted. Always unappreciated. Like everyone, I am susceptible to the selfishness of love. But he was always willing to give more than he could take, and for that, I love him so dearly.
I could not begin to count the many reasons why I would say that he is my reason for living. His influence in my life is simply unmeasurable. But he was the reason why I kept on moving forward despite the many failures I have encountered this year. It is true when they say that love makes you stronger. It is true when they say that love gives your life meaning. The cynic in me would chalk it all to transience, to something that would pass by, moments to get me through blue days and dark skies. But all those accumulated memories, they are far worth more than a love story.
How do you know it's for real? It's life changing. To me it went beyond just trying to finish college. Because of him I got my priorities a little bit straighter. I hated it everytime he would play the parent, the older brother, nagging me to do as I had planned, and stop being so childish. I don't think he had been successful in making a mature person out of me, but there were moments that I might have made him proud. It's like that I guess, there were times that I would disappoint - but only a love like his would be so unconditional as to say, "Don't worry, it will be alright." How can you not find the strength to carry on if you have someone steadfastly loving you like that? You can believe that you will be able to conquer the world with a such a constant love
And so while many things didn't really move according to what we have planned, we settled for what we have, tying loose ends as we go. I think the best thing about this year was the way he made me feel that he had faith in me. That's what gives meaning to life - when someone is right behind you who trusts you, believes in you, tells you that you can do it. Someone who clapped once I finally made it through college - barely so, since I graduate next year. And when I was transitioning from a student into the working class, he showed me the ropes and helped me focus my aim. These things show that he has been instrumental in many milestones in my life. It's impossible to see the future without him. He made me feel that I was not alone, and never will be. I've shared this year with him, and the next, and the next, until forever ends.
I don't know how you would consider someone a hero, but this man have always magically appeared by my side whenever I needed rescue - literally and figuratively speaking - minus the shiny armor and white horse. And I'm so proud to say that my boyfriend is the best boyfriend in the world, and though I would never claim so in his face, he's been such a great lover and best friend. We try to be there for each other when we have problems, we talk it out and never let a night pass without the quarrel unsolved.
This year marks the third in our relationship, something to be proud of at a time when people are jaded about love. If I were to remember the best things about this year, some of them would be with this person. Most of them aren't even fancy memories. There are times when we would just sit together and talk and have good food - and we would already be so fulfilled. Perhaps that is the secret to happiness, being content in what you have. Thank you for the three years we've had so far, and I'm looking forward to more in the future.
I love you Jet!
