Endure!

All falling into pieces, all falling to places. All I can say is that my life turned into tumbling wheels for the past week. And in the middle of a quandary, I learned what it is to live again.

My heart suffered the worst. I thought I died, but through a miracle of faith and friendship, and perhaps hope, I am still keeping it together. Days of silent remorse and countless nights of weeping have passed, and they shall continue in the coming days perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Getting left behind is a pain I could bear more than living a single day without you. Remember this, though you are far: We may not be meant to be together but, I will hold you in my heart, and you will always have that special place no matter what. If time and destiny will bend to my command, I will make it so that you will always be mine, I will make it so that no one will ever be left behind.

But I must learn to pull away from this.. this madness. You know how much I love you, how much I was willing to sacrifice, how much I was willing to risk and how much I was willing to endure. I understand what you are going through, yes. Maybe it will only take me a little bit longer to understand why you chose to go through it, whatever it is you are going through, alone.

We could dicker for another alternative, and choose to go through hell together. We could, but we can't. We must not. Such is the irony of life. Much like your promise that you will not love again, much like the promise that I will wait for you, everything in this world had no guarantees.

And in life, there are no guarantees. Take it if you must, take it if you will.
I am going through hell and I am not complaining. I am not complaining.